New Year, New Self - Slice of Life

January 1, 2017

New Year, New Self


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First and foremost, Happy New Year to each and every one of you! Cheers to a great year that is 2017, stay mirthful, blissful and wonderful ad infinitum!🎆🎇🎉 I reckon that as of now, every place on earth has logged out of 2016 and logged into 2017 in high spirits. 

Don’t even start asking how I spent my New Year’s Eve. I’m usually a night owl, but last night, my body was drained as my eyes were heavy. I hit the hay at around 9-ish and just slept the night away. This is my first time missing out on New Year’s firework show, oh, and the movies! They mustve aired some good blockbuster flicks on TV last night. 

A little rewind to last year, the last two months of it were excruciatingly strenuous as I began my seventh semester and hence, final work. The amount of stress it has put on me is unbelievable. Cannot wait til the weight is off my shoulder, and I can find my peace of mind

I want to go back to old routine of working on myself physically and pick up new ones that are good for mental health, like painting, writing, reading, etc. I also started reaching out to middle school pals I’d fallen out of touch again on social media, we’re still making up our minds for the date of our catch-up. Our first ever catch-up in coon’s age.

Seems like only yesterday I was about to start my first year in uni and adjust to the new phase, but sure enough it was three years and two months ago. I’m handing in my thesis proposal soon to apply for a supervisor afterward,  and looking forward to graduating this November. Time glides on that fast, it’s insane. We’re in the verge of adulthood now.

My New Year’s goal dramatically changed from passing all classes with good GPA to having both a degree and a good job under my belt by the time I welcome next year. (That’s a glow-up, y’all.Let’s keep our fingers crossed that everything will pan out. ❤ 

Speaking of my thesis, when cooping myself up in the library and reading loads of research papers last week, something caught my attention. You know, that particular section where the authors kind of list down their life mottos, favorite quotes and whatnot? I was dipping into one of my reading materials and lighting upon, I swear, the most thought-provoking and eye-opening quotes I’ve read, which is so relevant to the situation I’m facing these days. 

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.

Sometimes I get too caught up in my own fears, insecurities and self-doubts. They bring nothing but stress and anxiety, and I hate that they keep holding me back mentally from taking opportunities or doing what I want. Thereupon, I agree that the key to solving this kind of problem is to not pay heed to them at all. 

Oftentimes when I was offered good opportunities in the past, I kinda had a feeling that I should give them a shot and that there’s a chance I could nail them. But then, the irksome concerns started to creep in and got me backing out—letting those opportunities slide. God knows how many boats I have missed for listening to my very own trepidation.

So tired of always giving in to these fears, I’ve gotta start coming to grips with them already. It is at times like this that I miss my old self. The one who’s more indifferent about what others have to say.

The one who had no problem reading out a poetry with insufferably annoying intonation or presenting an awful drawing of Australian continent in front of the whole class. People might judge the hell out of me, but it didn’t bother me half as much as it would now somehow.

I was like, “fuck it” and just came forward. I believed it’s better to get stuff done quickly and nip it in the bud for good, than put it off and prolong the ‘suffering.’ *sighs* Good ol’ days, back when I’ve not been exposed to all that’s mean and nasty in this adult world. lmfao 

Joking aside though, I do wanna revert back to the old me who was brave and confident—only with some maturity and wisdom.

All in all, let’s start 2017 by turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to every bit of negativity trying to get to us. Those shrill, satanic whispers in our head that repeatedly say: “you are weak,” “you are stupid,” “you are not good enough,” “you cannot,” “you will fail,” etc., shut them out. They are not true, and will not necessarily come to pass. It can be otherwise, who knows?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna chicken out no more, then die without knowing what a great person I might have been if I actually tried

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